The hardest part is crying with no one around
When you just feel so alone
So alone. So abandoned.
All you want to do is reach out.
Have someone hold you.
Have her hear you. Love you.
But she's not coming back.
She's far gone.
She's far too gone.
You fought like you were at war.
Just so much hostility.
It broke your heart, you were just so hurt.
So pain turned to ache.
Ache turned to rage.
Rage turned into desolate sobbing.
Sobbing, turned into screaming, whaling, weeping.
The depression is the worst.
You just want someone to want to be there.
Finding it hard to even want to reach out.
But the isolation is starving you.
You barely eat.
You don't want to eat.
You want to wither away.
To not exist.
You lay in bed, and take sleeping as a gift
But when you wake in the dark
You try to imagine her face.
Remember all that was
But as you lay there, you try to block it out
block out her face
Block out the pain.
Try to go back to sleep
But possessed with pain
Not the kind you can fix with just medications.
Not with a good music, radical tunes
Not even kind works dull the ache
There just isn't words.
To truly describe how I feel
I find ways to keep me busy
Fight for ways to make something come of this
Something positive.
Just wish this would kill me.
Rip my heart out of my chest.
Leave me for dead.
But that's the best part.
I can't die yet.
