Glass Box Symmetry

"Glass Box Symmetry"

 

Today I wrote to you.
You wrote back
It was like for a moment there was hope
A glimpse from the edge of darkness
Then that old familiar chill crept over my head
Crept over me, reminding me you are gone
Gone from my arms
Gone from my heart
I told you at the base of that water fall it was like you took my heart
And placed it into a glass box, filled with light
It was so glorious that day and night
"But no. no. no. NO! NOT LIKE THIS
WHY LIKE THIS
WHY!? What did I do!?"
Panic swept over me that night
I dry heaved
And my organs retched as I laid there
Longest 4 hours of my life, were the ones I tried to sleep
The night before you left me.
The night before that box you put my heart in
Was left on a shelf, well lit to be seen at a far off
I miss you, but maybe I just missed the point instead
See the point of being "in love"
is to strive to "stay in love"
Not jump ship.
We made promises
We shared strong words
To strive to an end
To strive to live
To be happy
For Love
And All I got was this glass box that became my prison.
I miss that connection to belong to someone
Now I am captive in this prison
Suffocating for someone to hold me
For someone to see who I am
and stick around
And say "You are beautiful. I want you. To keep you."
Yeah I'm a man, but most men won't tell you is we want that.
We want to be loved, we want to be adored. to be needed and wanted.
So fuck masculinity. I want someone beautiful to say that I am as well
To look at my soul and all, and be filled with adoration
Inspiration. But is it too much. Too much. Too much.
But maybe more than anything I want someone to say it and prove it
That "I Love you".