Not a poem this time.

.....Not a poem this time....

I figured, I'm gonna talk less with verbal speech and try to resort to only typing things. I'm full of strong words but they seem dramatically lessened with the amount I open my mouth.

I recently lost something dear to me. But was it the connection
Or was it the miss judgement of me trusting someone with my heart so fervently

Only time will tell right?

Who knows?

As it were. I've been in this strange place lately. Of self improvement. and internal conflict. twisting and writhing at battle with my demons.

Let's call him "H"

This guy tends to want things, things I shouldn't want. and well H, is very opinionated.

some say they have demons, mine have names.

Nothing is more frustrating then being at continual battle. See I wanna fall in love.

.......Be in love.....

...........................LOVE and be LOVED

Is that too much to ask for. It almost doesn't matter who it is. i just am dying to have it
DYING

AM I DYING!?

Man what a mess. my thoughts seem to be all over the place.

Well look at you trying to be all proper and saving face

Me!? TRYING TO SAVE FACE!?
I can hardly look at my self in the mirror

How am I to save face now!?
With all that is lost? all that is gone

Regardless. My artistic sides are clashing with my analytical mind.

ITS LIKE IM TRAPPED

IN THIS BODY

MADE OF RAW EXPOSED NErVES

Do you even know what it's like to be a computer trapped in an Artist's body?

Do you know what its like to be starving for affection

Your mind continually is judging, rationalizing, quantifying everything?!

It's like a bad joke,
And the punch line didn't even sound funny to the guy telling it!

Exactly it's like I'm suffocating within myself!

Suffocating... dying. It's not even the beginning of all of it.
It's truly a separation of self and consciousness

You understand they are going to have a headache reading this right?

If they made it this far maybe they realized

the different positioning represents tone?

Well aren't you just cheeky and insightful?

Anyways, enough arguing with myself

You really think that'll ever happen?

Heh, we have a higher chance of finding true love

Anyway...... this is my mind

As chaotic as it may seem

Judge as you will

But know that we don't care.

Nor will I ever censor for your sensibilities!

Catch ya around.